Being a Pawn on the Church Chessboard

I’ve always had a fascination with the game of chess and the strategy needed to play it well. My fascination was never strong enough to join the chess club in high school, probably because I couldn’t weather the stigma. As I reflect on the power issues that often crop up in churches, I realized I’m a pawn.

A pawn, despite popular opinion, is not worthless. Its primary objective is to defend the good of its fellow pieces and to serve in any way necessary, even if it means sacrificing itself so others can survive.

I’m imperfect—I know it and everyone around me knows it. So I don’t think I expect too much of those who are in power or wield power in local churches, because I don’t expect perfection from them either. I do, however, grow tired of Christian leaders who can’t do what they said they were going to do. I become angry and frustrated when they cave into desires and personalities and don’t act according to biblical principles.

Sadly some churches cave in to a consumeristic model that says everything is about personal pleasure and satisfaction. We have too many churches that exist to make people happy rather than challenging them to live for the Kingdom of God and to die to self.

I hate the politics of church. It’s a certainty that you can’t have church without politics, because the church is full of fallen people who, even though they’re redeemed, strive for power and other things God despises.

I’ve often wanted to be more of a leader in churches, but I haven’t been; because those who posses the power haven’t allowed me to. I often long to be a more important piece on the church chess board—perhaps a castle or knight. (I guess there’s only room for one king at a church and that position’s taken.)

A mentor of mine brought that to my attention, and I sat there with tears falling down my face as I realized it was true. The truth is that I’ve resented that, but I’m coming to terms with it as I focus on being where God has me instead of focusing on where I’m not.

I must choose the position of humility versus the position of power. I am a pawn in the hands of God, and I must lay down my life for those whom God has placed within my responsibility. Then I can be fully in God’s will.

This originally appeard in the March/April 2004 issue of Youthworker Journal.